ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

 

So a while back I announced that the hubby and I would be venturing to Philly for the weekend. Not even two seconds later I was plagued with “ya’ll about to get pregnant” posts.

I swear… here’s the screenshots.. I also want to thank ya’ll for sending the juju my way and cancelling my fall / winter festivities. 🙁

BUT THE GAG IS…

I totally got pregnant around our 12 year anniversary so while I was living my best un-sober life in Philly with the babe I was already knocked up. (such an unfit mother right?!) I totally had no clue until late June. I woke up one day and just felt off. Well, there was an episode that involved some special baked sweets that sent me into a vomiting fit, but I had no clue. I didn’t put any of the things making me feel off into  “you might be pregnant.”

What really got me is one day I was walking downstairs in the house, and it felt like I was lactating. Like seriously, it felt like my boobs filled up with liquid gold and my poor lil nipples were so tender. Like when you first hit puberty sore. So I was like, eh totally my period coming on.

WELL, I got to work and decided to get some supplies for the office. I went past the “family planning” section and picked up the glorious three pack of piss tests.  I figured, better safe than sorry. I threw the box in the cart and kept it pushing. Coincidentally, when I got back to the office ALL OF A SUDDEN I had to pee. So I go, take one of the tests with me and take it.  I wrapped it up in paper towel and stared at it on my desk for like 20 mins.

CHILEEE…. I WAS LOOKING AT THAT TEST LIKE…

When I tell you my armpits were IMMEDIATELY drenched! My body went cold, I couldn’t feel my teeth..

I couldn’t believe it. I’m pregnant. What?! I didn’t want another kid, they say the second one is a no limit soldier that spares you no mercy. Was I ready for all that?! HELL NO!

I went into immediate, act as normal as possible mode. Which meant, I actually wasn’t acting normal. Kinda like when you have an edible around family, and you’re trying to be as normal as possible but you’re actually crab walking around the kitchen. YEP that was me. I had no clue how I was going to tell Ja’San.

“Dang babe, that dinner was good. Oh yeah I’m pregnant and shit.”

“Oh babe, while you’re already pissed off at me, we pregnant.”

“Yo, Trump crazy..you know I’m pregnant right?”

“Lemme tell you some bullshit babe, we done fucked up and got pregnant.”

I had no clue. So I just didn’t say anything. I figured, let’s just see how long we can let this rock. Welp, the anticipation was KILLING me, so I had to do something. So I decided, let’s tell him on the 4th of July during the fireworks so if he shoots me, ain’t nobody gonna know. (j/k j/k)

Chile we got to the damn fire works and those things came and gone. My sister kept looking at me like “Bih, are you going say something or naw.” So I made up some type of BS excuse in the moment. We ended up at Gelotti’s after the fireworks and we were all hanging out. So I gave my sis that “I’m bout to do it look” and all of a sudden all our friends that was with us whipped out their phones. In my head I’m like “Who told these hoes?!” (I love ya’ll though!)

I have no clue how he didn’t know something was about to go down. So here we go

Me: “Hey babe, I got you something.”

Ya’ll this is exactly how he looked at me

Me: “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

Him: (sucks teeth and closes eyes)

Me: (places all TREE OF DEM tests in his hands)

Him:         

He asked me if I was serious like a thousand times before it really reacted. It was so cute, nerve wracking, and funny at the same time. I’m honestly not sure if he was happy, sad, or what.

So there you have it. I told the hubby in the parking lot of Gelotti’s that we were pregnant, and it went great. He was actually really happy, but more so in shock than anything.

I remember when I told Harmony. We were out and she just so happened to get sick in the car and I had to change her clothes in the bathroom. As I was putting her clothes on she said to me,

“Your belly is getting big because you have a baby.”

Now, at the time the only person that knew I was pregnant was me and my God. How in the hell did this little Shaman know that I was pregnant. I remember just staring at her like huh, don’t be telling people that. (I’m cracking up) Then she proceeds to say

“You have a baby and her name is Sissy Flowers.”

Now not only did she know I was pregnant, but she knew I was having a girl before I had even went to the doctor to do all those tests. Whew, Chile the mental breakdown I had. Listen to your kids ya’ll, they be knowing.

But that’s the story of how I told my clan I was knocked up. We’re collectively excited, however  I know this is going to be the ultimate test of my patience because I currently have NONE!

What are some tips you can give me for introducing a new baby into the family with an extremely spoiled toddler? Oh and dog.

So much more to share but it’s lunchtime and shawty is hungry.

TTYL

xo – Freckles

Oh here’s the video of the whole ordeal, I look a mess and turn your head to the side I don’t think it auto rotated. 🙂

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